Like most cricket fans, I assumed that Day 2 would see a general quietening. The pitch would settle down; batsmen would play more carefully, and what passes for normality in the modern game would re-establish itself. And before lunch that is exactly what happened. Lyon and Doggett defended capably without ever suggesting a big partnership. Eventually the last wicket fell, and England’s second innings got underway. As usual (!) Starc excelled himself in his opening over and removed Crawley for a pair. It was a caught-and-bowled: off-balance, with no warning whatsoever; but somehow Starc tumbled to one side away from his trajectory and hauled the ball in. When he finally retires from cricket, perhaps Circus Oz might wish to grant him an audition.
But thereafter Duckett and Pope played within themselves until lunch time. What unfolded in the afternoon session made yesterday’s riotousness seem almost tame. The primary incision was made by the redoubtable Boland. He had endured the torments of the damned on Day 1. His opening three-over spell had cost 15 in this innings. What to do? Why not bowl seventh-stump line and make the ball seam a little either way? Surely that will bring control to the innings. He can scarcely have expected the flower of England’s batting to go chasing the ball well outside off; but that is exactly what they did. In no time at all he had three wickets for nothing much. The ever-alert Smith brought back Starc as soon as the fun began, and he removed Root and Stokes to loose strokes from both. Root will be mortified by the video repeat of his dismissal. A man with 13,000 Test runs should not be waving an angled bat outside off to Mitchell Starc. The ball cannoned off the inside edge and took the stumps.
Smith kept shuffling his seamers. Doggett got into the act with a couple. And with England seven down for nothing much, it was time for the lower order to do something. Atkinson and Carse are capable batsmen, especially the former. In less than six overs they put on fifty. Here at least the despised Bazball made sense. With the innings in ruins, counterattack was the best and indeed only viable strategy. Having gone so far they might well have reined themselves in and cashed in for a long innings. But as with yesterday England’s plan seemed to be to get the home side in as quick as possible. When an early tea was taken, Australia need 205 to win the match. It will be the highest innings score so far. But it should be possible.
And it was. An injury to Khawaja caused Travis Head to put up his hand to open. The first few overs were tight enough. Thereafter it was a brutal massacre. Even by Head’s eccentric standards this was something well out of the ordinary. His 123 occupied just 83 deliveries. Bazball? Nope. He bats as did Lord Botham: block the good ones; whack the bad ones. He began with circumspection, but soon opened out into a riotous flower of fours and sixes. England lost their heads entirely. The pitch map tells its own guilty story. They sprayed the ball everywhere: especially short. There is a theory that Head is vulnerable to short balls on his body. That’s as maybe, but possibly Perth’s even, predictable bounce is not the place to try it out. By the close Head was smashing forehand volleys more suitable to Wimbledon’s centre court.
The supporting cast did their job. By the time Wetherald was out to Carse the opening stand had produced 75. In the 12th over. Labuschagne joined the South Australian and the pair hopped into as dismal a collection of half-volleys and poorly-conceived short deliveries as was ever seen in a Test match. He eventually fell to Carse, and Labuschagne finished things off, though acting skipper Smith was left to hit the winning run. After three innings more redolent of T20 cricket than Test matches, Australia ran up 2/205 in a tick over twenty-eight overs.
The fault, as the sages of the commentary box pointed out, lies with the batting. The bowlers get no rest when all 20 wickets fall in 68 overs. Trying to whack the good balls repeatedly generally leads to disaster when the fielding side keep their heads. A two-day Test match? One doubts the Authorities will mind overmuch. It was an adrenaline-filled spectacle seen by a combined hundred thousand spectators. And most would have gone home happy and exalted. The Barmy Army not so much. And so on to Brisbane.
An absolute delight to watch. Much hollering and hooting in these quarters as Head whacked the ball around. Boland is a treasure. So glad he is back in xxxx
Indeed he is! 4 cheap wickets in the second dig has wiped out the embarrassment of his first innings. Scott is a treasure. We Melbournians love him 😀
Just a couple of thoughts.
First, I’m not sure why England didn’t attack the stumps? In fact, it appeared (to me at least) they had orders to NOT attack the stumps.
Second, I have had my doubts about Archer being a top quality fast bowler. Initially based on his lack of First Class cricket. In this game, he approached 150 kph in the First Innings. Sadly, when England needed ‘Someone’ to make a breakthough, he could hardly make it to 140 kph.
For England, it will probably be a very long tour.
Indeed. It was an acephalous display from their bowlers. I don’t think they thought things through at all. Oh, Travis is vulnerable to short balls! Let’s go get him! Repeated failure and the flurry of boundaries had apparently no effect on them at all. They bowled with the relentless attack and accuracy we were promised in the first dig. But it was as if they had uttered a collective groan and said Oh NO! Our batting has folded yet again! What’s the bloody use???
Jofra does not, as you say, have the fitness for Test cricket. That said, he is worth his place *if* he can send down twelve overs of thunderbolts in each innings. This doesn’t work with a four-man attack, but so long as Stokes is there they have five of them. The lack of venom in his second innings was notable. Josh Tongue will also play at some stage. He is a proper Test match bowler.