Also the Day of Pink, in memory of the late Ms McGrath. Within moments it became apparent that the pitch had abated not a jot of its venom and mischief. There was uneven bounce all day, and seam movement bordering on the extravagant. Sundar and Jadeja barely fired a shot in anger; but truth to tell neither Cummins nor Boland gave them anything much to hit. The captain saw them both off with trademark seaming thunderbolts; then Boland removed the last two in short order. The home side must have been relieved. A chase of 200 plus would have been an intimidating prospect on such a pitch.
If this team were interested in dwelling on the past, they would have recognised a familiar script. Go out there nervously prodding; lose three wickets to the quicks; have the spinners come on with close catchers and the ball shooting at all angles; and get bowled out for 120. Konstas and Khawaja arrived with a clear intention, summarised as Blow that for a game of soldiers. We will go after the bowlers at every opportunity and see if we can take them down. After three overs the score was 0/35, not helped by Siraj and Krishna trying too hard to break down the defences. Twelve of those runs were extras, mostly wides and byes.
It had also became apparent that Bumrah really was out of the game. He spoke after the match of respecting his body, which – it had become apparent to everyone – really had passed the limits of the possible. Krishna roused himself for a supreme effort and prised out first Konstas, for a village yahoo swipe; then Labuschagne caught in the gully in his usual way; and finally Smith, who found himself stranded on 9999 Test runs with a delivery that rose off a length like a dolphin chasing a beach ball. Suddenly India was in with a chance at 3/58. Off a mere ten overs.
It is probable that Konstas will garner raised eyebrows and frowning visages for his two innings in this match. Consider this, however. Both times he was dismissed by agricultural hoicks. A thousand coaches would be warning their junior students Don’t Try This At Home. And yet. In both innings he made over 20 in a low-scoring match. He was chosen to give the innings impetus. And he did. The effect on Khawaja is plain to see. While young Sam is swiping, I can get my eye in at my leisure.
Travis Head strode to the wicket coming off three successive failures. Would he also go after the attack? Of course he would. By the time Siraj at his last gasp removed Usman at 4/104 the match was well in Australia’s keeping. Usman had made 45, by the by. Which was the innings top score, and a poke in the eye for a certain former captain suffering from relevance deprivation syndrome. He had called upon Usman to retire after this match. Australia will however need him in Sri Lanka. After that, maybe.
This brought Webster to the crease. Having enjoyed a brilliant debut already he felt no nerves to speak of, and his driving off front and back foot was a delight to watch. He and Head polished off the runs in short order. The innings took just 27 overs at a run a ball. They were helped by some extraordinary captaincy from Kohli, deputising for Bumrah. His plan, such as it was? Bowl Siraj and Krishna until their arms fell off. Even Reddy got a couple of overs, on a pitch which hardly suited his gentle swingers. Sundar was offered the final over, with men back on the drive for easy singles. And Jaddu? He might easily have caused some havoc on such a pitch. He certainly fielded like a demon. What went through his mind as the Australian pair cruised to victory can only be conjectured.
There were no surprises on the presentation dais. Boland was Player of the Match (with 10/78 it could not be anyone else), while Bumrah was Player of the Series. Inevitably. Without him India might easily have lost five-nil. Sweetness, light, diplomacy and mutual congratulations were the order of the day. It was a minor triumph of diplomacy to have Isa Guha do the presentations. She’s actually English, but can easily pass as Indian. And – inevitably – a Test cricketer herself in her past. Women are not chosen in cricket merely to be decorative.
Australia will play South Africa at Lords in June, and India must inevitably draw the curtain on certain careers. They have young players of quality hammering at the door. As Bob Dylan memorably put it: don’t stand in the doorway; don’t block up the hall. Australia has decisions of its own to make in the near future. Poor Nathan McSweeney deserves another shot at Test cricket. It’s hardly his fault he ran into Jasprit at his most lethal. Webster can hardly be omitted on the strength of his brilliant all-round debut. And there is Green to return, when he is ready. On the pace bowling side, Lance Morris and Spencer Johnson deserve a run. And presumably we will be taking Kuhnemann to Sri Lanka. Room must be found for the younger brigade.
But for now, this battle-scarred team may well bask a while in the afterglow of victory. Written off more frequently than a white-shoe spiv’s bad debts, they drew together and triumphed against the odds. They are due all the applause they will receive from this sports-mad Big Brown Land.