Back in the glory days of Caribbean cricket, their matchless pace attack used to opine that it did not matter how many runs their batsmen managed to get. Whatever the eventual tally, they backed themselves to dismiss the opposition for fewer and deliver victory. They were rarely mistaken. Talk to those with bad memories and they will speak of rearing bouncers, throat music, and Michael Holding’s memorable remark: ‘If you want to drive, then hire a car.’

Yet the secret to their years of unbroken victory was relentless line, length and the ability to extract seam movement and steepling bounce from the most somnolent of pitches. Australia’s veteran seamers were but a twinkle in their parents’ eyes back then, but they have absorbed the lessons of the Eighties and Nineties comprehensively. With one conspicuous exception, inasmuch as Lloyd, Richards and Richardson regarded spin bowling as a mere indulgence. Cummins knows better, having in his armoury one of the all-time greats in Nathan Lyon.

So it was that Australia triumphed today without fuss or trouble, despite losing their last three wickets cheaply to the combined fury of the Josephs. In the shortened pre-lunch session, Cummins’ men set to work on the home team’s top order. So well did they bowl that despite two uncharacteristic lapses in the slips from Webster and Green, they went to the break with the West Indies at 4/33. Hazlewood, Starc, Webster and Cummins each took a wicket, the lattermost of which sent off Brandon King wondering what on earth had just happened.

King had sent three half-volleys to the boundary and looked in sparkling touch, but Cummins’ unearthly genius undid him. It would have undone just about anyone. He must have noted that Cummins delivered from a little wider on the crease, and deduced that this will be the deadly off-cutter aimed at middle and leg. Very well: I shall cover it with bat, pads, and aquiline vigilance. The off-break shall not pass. Alas for King: it was the full-pitched leg-cutter which did just enough to take the off bail. One cannot prepare for deliveries like that.

There was an air of impermanence about the batting after lunch. Hope will not be proud of his rustic hoick at Hazlewood, resulting in yet another caught and bowled. Chase’s innings of 34 from 41 was meritorious, scoring at every safe opportunity; and he was misfortunate enough to succumb to a very marginal leg before from Starc. Greaves perished likewise. Umpire’s call has not been kind to the home side of late. Alzarri Joseph began his innings with two mighty sixes from Lyon. Undeterred, the off-spinner continued to give the ball air and drift, and Alzarri obligingly miscued to Green in the deep. Three more colossal sixes from Shamarr, and one from Seales, punctuated the regular backbeat of outfield catches. Lyon continued to tempt, and the tailenders obliged. His figures of 3/42 from five and a half overs will not have concerned him or his captain in the slightest. Do, please, go on swiping. You will not be here for long.

And they were not. Yes, Australia bowled magnificently on a helpful wicket. Yet to be bowled out in little more than thirty overs, yet again, does speak of a want of patience from the West Indies. It is too easy to blame white ball cricket. Part of the problem is that despite their own excellent seam attack, most of the first-class cricket hereabouts is played on spin-friendly wickets. Their batsmen need more practice against quick bowling. They could do worse, moreover, than to study Steve Smith. His ten thousand Test runs have not been the result of a bizarre and long-running accident. His 71 in the second innings was the chief difference between the sides. His ever-shifting batting technique is based on his matchless battle computers. How are these men trying to dismiss me? What small changes can I make to frustrate them?

And so, despite Australia’s horror run against the new ball in this series, their all-conquering bowlers saw them safely home. What Sabina Park will show on the weekend is anyone’s guess. But the prospect of a pink ball Test match, with two high-quality seam attacks, would seem to indicate that reserving seats for the fourth and fifth days would be an exercise in incurable optimism. A notable festive moment was observed in the outer this morning. A substantial banner was held aloft, proclaiming to an unguessable Kate that tonight is bin night. Really? We hope that Kate is tolerant and forgiving enough to smile, put out the bins, and hope that her beloved is enjoying his holiday.

Only 58 overs were able to be completed today. Partly because of intermittent rain, which visited the ground and hovered nearby like a dinner guest who cannot quite bring themself to leave the party once and for all. And there were rainbows. The West Indies over rate was diabolical, even so, and even by the lax standards of the present day. The five-man seam attack (with a bare five overs of spin from the captain) is partly to blame; but really: is it too much to ask that fielding sides get on with the game? If the plan was to bore Steve Smith out, it didn’t work. I don’t believe the man ever gets bored.

West Indies began untidily with the ball. There was far too little in Damien Fleming’s Avenue of Apprehension, and when the bowlers did pitch up and aim at the stumps, it was generally a half-volley. It took quite a time before Alzarri collected the nightwatchman. Smith seemed grateful for the extra sleep-in and came out utterly untroubled by his broken finger, or indeed anything else. And Cameron Green at last repaid the selectors’ faith in him as our number three with a most accomplished half-century. By the time he was out (played on off his diagonal bat, as usual, from Shamarr) the lead was 150 and Australia breathed easier.

Travis Head stroked his first delivery through mid-off for four. He reached thirty-odd at a run a ball, but after a brief flurry of wickets after tea (Smith for 71, and Webster straight after) he was more circumspect thereafter. Chase raised many eyebrows with his choice of Greaves’ mediums after the tea break. It turned out a stroke of inspiration. Greaves attacked the stumps and was the beneficiary of some sprightly seam movement. Head then lost his stumps to the indefatigable Shamarr, and bad light put an end to proceedings shortly after. Australia resumes tomorrow on 7/221. The lead is past 250, and the pitch is still playing a few tricks. Carey already has a run-a-ball 26. And Cummins looked his usual defiant self. The home side will want early wickets tomorrow.

The West Indies openers began in brilliant sunshine. Brathwaite’s 100^th Test match has not thus far been a happy one, since he spooned a meek return catch to Hazlewood. Carty fell to Cummins in a like manner, although Cummins’ twenty-yard sprint to receive delivery at forward short leg was an athletic highlight from the Australian skipper. John Campbell however batted brightly, unperturbed by the occasion. When Hazlewood pitched fractionally short the phlegmatic opener lifted him over the square boundary. On 40 he essayed an awful swipe from Webster and departed in a medium-rare dudgeon. It had been an unworthy end to an innings of bright promise.

Brandon King had experienced all the terrors of multiple stage fright in Barbados. It was all the more commendable to see him dig in here, and with his captain he steered the home side to lunch at a comparatively comfortable 3/110. With the pitch thus far displaying few terrors, Australia needed a lift. Hazelwood supplied it directly after lunch, trapping Chase in front for 16. It was a narrow squeak on review. Another bail width higher and the result would have been Umpire’s Call. On seeing humans playing with a ball, an optimistic black dog attempted to join in the festivities. Finding no encouragement, however, it removed itself beyond the long-off boundary and spectated instead.

King brought up his 50 with a wild slash over gully from Starc. A man who had so thoroughly embarrassed himself on debut could feel considerable pride at his resilience. Twice he lofted Lyon over the ropes, and alarm bells begin to toll in the middle distance for the visitors. Inevitably it was the captain who broke through Hope’s resistance. It was Cummins’ specialty: an off-cutter delivered from wide on the return crease. Worse was to follow as Lyon induced a faint glove from King, who was dismissed on review for an excellent 75. Praise is also due to Cummins for not removing his spinner after his first six overs went for 30. Many a captain would have; but Cummins knows the value of buying wickets with spin.

When Greaves departed, having edged Lyon’s away-drifter to Carey, the end seemed nigh at 7/175. Yet the Josephs had other ideas. They defended stoutly. They lofted the ball just out of reach of scurrying outfielders. And they clubbed four sixes in their stand of 51 until Lyon’s subtle change of length induced a drive to long-on from Alzarri. Starc then skittled Shamarr with his away-cutter via the batsman’s pads. Even then West Indies were not done. After Seales’ meek dismissals in Barbados he defended his wicket mightily. The last pair lasted another eleven overs until Head concluded the innings with his notorious golden arm, when Phillip offered him the innings’ third return catch. The visitors’ lead had dwindled away to a mere 33. Australia had bowled well on a helpful wicket. All six bowlers shared the spoils. Yet West Indies had fought well: notably Brandon King, whose 75 has been the game’s high-water mark thus far.

With the match poised on a knife-edge it remained to be seen if Australia’s drastically underperforming batsmen could gain the ascendancy. Alas, they could not. In a fiery three-over burst Seales blasted away both openers. The man it seems cannot help taking wickets. Partly because he bowls an attacking length and swings the ball around, but also because of errors in batsmanship. Konstas’ waft outside off with a diagonal bat was dreadful to behold. Green’s first ball roared up at him like a venomous reptile, and the giant no.3 was fortunate indeed that his edge fell just short of slip. Then Khawaja fell leg before in an action replay of his first innings disaster. Green and Lyon hung on until stumps. But at 2/12 Australia is markedly behind the match. As in Barbados, it is now incumbent upon the middle order to dig them out of a substantial crater.

Grenada is an island of all but impossible beauty. Its cricket is itself anomalous. They still field a national side as part of the Windward Islands group, and their teams are led by Devon Smith and Andre Fletcher: both cricketers of renown. Once upon a time they contested a cricket World Cup in their own right. And while the grandstands were sparsely tenanted, it was good to see Messrs Hughes and Gillespie doing Laurel and Hardy impressions therein. Captain Pat won the toss, and decided to bat, opining that he had no idea what the pitch was likely to do. He might well have added that whatever was going to transpire out there, it was unlikely to improve for the batting side.

That Australia was bowled out in 67 overs does not, at first glance, sound like a glowing endorsement of Cummins’ decision. The pitch did play better than in Barbados, but not by a great distance. There was swing, seam, and uneven bounce enough to discombobulate most of the batsmen. Yet the visitors did not bat too badly. Against a five-man seam attack they looked for runs on every occasion. They were wise to do so. Khawaja perished to a booming inswinger from Alzarri Joseph, who took the honours with 4/61. Travis Head was caught low down by Hope from a ball which exploded off a length from Shamarr. And the captain himself, after a brusque and incisive 17, was skittled by a ball which crept along the carpet.

Uneven bounce does not generally evaporate. The history of cricket suggests that a pitch which is up and down on the first day tends to get worse. If it does, the home side are in for a testing time. Yet survival is possible. With half the side out for 110, once more it was left to Carey and Webster to relaunch the ship and get the innings back on track. Carey rode his luck, as ever; but his 63 (from 81 balls) was exactly the rescue mission required. And Webster’s common-sense application was an implied remonstrance to his predecessors. He was only dismissed trying to pinch the strike with Lyon at the other end. His 60 was an innings of the highest class.

How will the West Indies respond? Only tomorrow will tell. Meanwhile at Edgbaston, India amassed almost 600, with the new captain Shubman Gill making 269. In response, Akash and Siraj reduced England to 5/84. Since then, at the time of writing, Jamie Smith and Harry Brook have put on an unbeaten 6th wicket stand of 165 in a mere 25 overs. Food for thought, perhaps?