The two Josephs took up where they left off the night before. From the moment Green shouldered arms and was pinned in front, the pace pair were in their element. Australia’s tail was simply blown away. 121 all out left the visitors with a lead of 204. Would this be enough? Time would answer that question all too soon. But praise is due in full measure to the intrepid pair. Alzarri took 5/27, Shamarr 4/34, and Australia’s innings had lasted a mere 37 overs. Would their batsmen back them up?

Alas, the answer was an emphatic no. Starc’s first over included three wickets: Campbell caught at second slip first ball, followed by Anderson trapped in front on the fifth, and King clean-bowled on the last. At three down for no runs the target now looked impossibly distant. Starc’s wicked inswingers were largely responsible for the carnage. The home side appeared hypnotised. They did not move their feet to any purpose. A half-hearted shuffle across the crease does not meet the needs of the situation in any way. The grinning left-arm quick took five wickets in his first 15 deliveries.

When Hazlewood had Chase caught behind by Inglis (substituting for the injured Carey) West Indies were 6/11, and beyond redemption. In a way, the best was yet to come. Scott Boland at first change broke through the seventh-wicket stand of 15 when he squared Greaves up and induced an edge to second slip. Greaves’ 11 was the innings top score. The next best was Mr Extras, with 6. On the next ball Shamarr was trapped leg before. Then Warrican was clean-bowled, completing Boland’s hat-trick. Starc concluded proceedings when he clean-bowled Seales. His final figures were 6/9. Boland took 3/2. And West Indies had succumbed for 27.

Roston Chase afterwards had no excuses. He used terms like ‘heartbreaking’ and ’embarrassing’, which was no more than the bedrock truth. Yes, the pitch was spiteful, and the bowling sublime. But this was a hideous capitulation from a side whose pride has been humbled in the dust. How they will fare in future is anyone’s guess. India awaits in October. We wish them luck. They will need it.

Meanwhile at Lords, India and England took time out from their mutual sledging, recriminations and juvenile nonsense to turn on one of Test cricket’s epic finishes. By lunch India were eight down and eighty-odd runs short of victory. The miraculously reborn Archer and Stokes were sending down deadly thunderbolts and India had succumbed ingloriously. Yet Ravi Jadeja and Jasprit Bumrah had other ideas. For almost two hours they defied everything England could hurl at them. When Bumrah finally succumbed to a waft at a bouncer, the extra half-hour before tea would need to be invoked. And still Jaddu fought on, with the inept but brave Siraj holding the fort with him. The margin shrank, and dwindled. The capacity crowd held their breath as 80 became 60, then 40, then 20-something.

It took a cruel play-on from the spinner Bashir to break the last defences. England erupted with jubilation. Jaddu crouched on the field, inconsolable. Yet half the England side came to commiserate and congratulate, echoing Flintoff to Brett Lee twenty years gone by. Jadeja has made many Test centuries, yet his unbeaten 61 here may have been his finest hour as a batsman. It had been a superb innings, occupying four and a half hours’ worth of watchful defence, furious but considered strokeplay, and cool judgement in refusing singles until late in the over. It was good to see the English players cast aside their juvenilia to pay worthy tribute to a mighty warrior.

As Australia’s sole First Nations (male) Test cricketer at the present time, Boland has had a rough time of it. His appearances are few and far between. In any other era he would have been picked far more often; but when Starc, Cummins and Hazlewood are ahead of you in the queue, it is a matter of They Also Serve Who Only Stand And Wait; until one is injured or resting, or – in this case – Lyon’s spin is judged surplus to requirements. Boland never complains. When his chance arrives, he applies himself to the task, and delivers. He is 36 years old, and has a bowling average well under 20. His strike rate is under 40.

Not that his performance was flawless. There was a minor outbreak of front-foot no-balls. That aside, he trundled in, seamed the ball both ways, varied his pace skilfully, and was perennially at the striker. He took the honours last night with 3/34. His first scalp was John Campbell, who alone of the home batsmen had combined resolute defence with aggressive stroke-play. Yet for inscrutable reasons the no.4 offered his pad when bat would have been more appropriate.

Australia’s five-man seam attack shared the wickets. For the West Indies, none aside from Campbell and the captain showed any disposition to fight it out. Mykyle Louis will not want to see the replay of his wild, ineffectual hoick which missed the ball by the width of a barn door. For the visitors, their bowlers were relentless. The fielding was mostly excellent: Konstas’ run-out of Greaves being a highlight. The most glaring error was when Greaves edged Starc straight to first slip. Carey launched himself in front of Khawaja and spilled the catch. But in the event it did not signify.

With a priceless lead of 82 on this difficult wicket, what would Australia do in the evening session. Surely not a repeat of yesterday’s kamikaze session? As it turned out, yes: it was to be just that. The Josephs came out breathing fire and brimstone, inducing a timid prod to gully from the hapless Konstas, opening a chasm between bat and pad from Khawaja, and a similar breach in Smith’s defences. At 3/28 it was down to Head and Green to steady the innings. The latter made two attempts to run himmself out, but failed on both occasions. Head meanwhile made a quick 16 before being taken in low down slips off Greaves. Four down? Time to defend? Webster off-drove his first ball to the boundary.

Webster then fell to Alzarri’s Cummins Special: the leg-cutter delivered from wide on the crease. Carey’s first ball took him in the helmet. He essayed a wild slog at the next but one and edged to slip. Meanwhile Green had recovered his composure. He and Cummins managed to hold out until stumps, though the latter is fortunate is have survived. Early on he gloved Alzarri to the keeper, but the appeal was half-hearted, and they failed to review it. Then Green did his best to run his partner out, again missing narrowly. Cummins edged the day’s final delivery just in front of the diving short leg.

At 6/99 Australia has a slight advantage, and for that they can thank Green, who kept his head – aside from alarums and excursions running between wickets – when all about had lost theirs. His unbeaten 42 has been worth a century under more normal circumstances. The Caribbean bowlers were outstanding: none more so than Alzarri Joseph. His 3/19 is no more, and perhaps less, than his due. This is a spiteful wicket, but run-scoring is still possible, as Green has shown. His promotion to no.3 has been the subject of scepticism; but the coach was adamant that this was the right choice. McDonald’s judgement has been vindicated.

Traditionally, most captains call Heads when it’s their turn. Cummins is no exception, and once again the coin turned up trumps for him. And so Australia decided to bat. It makes sense. When batting gets really hard under lights, you hope that your batsmen are well in and seeing it like a football. Yet even under bright sunlight the pink ball swung alarmingly for Seales and Shamarr. Konstas and Khawaja left most deliveries alone. Indeed bat on ball was a rarity: either the ball swung so far that no stroke was necessary; or else the bat was well beaten. Konstas had an early life when Seales induced his outside edge. The ball was heading straight for second slip, whose hands were cocked ready to receive it. In an excess of enthusiasm the debutant Kevlon Anderson (third slip) dived across in front and spilled the catch. Seales’ thunderstruck expression said everything. Oh no. Not again.

After 22 deliveries looking more at sea than a tea-clipper under full sail, Konstas was greeted by Alzarri with a shortish ball on his body.  He whacked it gratefully behind square to the boundary and relaxed a trifle. By playing with a vertical bat he held the fort until Greaves’ first delivery trapped him in front. By leaning across towards off-stump this had become an inherent risk. But his 17 was at least a better effort than his previous attempts. Green came, whacked a boundary immdiately, survived a leg-before on review, and made it safely to the break thereafter. At 1/50 Australia would have felt comfortable enough.

Khawaja’s idiosyncratic technique can be confounded by uneven bounce. While this surface has plenty for the bowlers, the ball comes through at a predictable height. He knows his game thoroughly, and negotiated his way through the session without undue drama. It took a late away-swinger from Shamarr, and an excellent low catch from Hope, to dismiss him. His 23 had occupied 92 deliveries, and one might say he’d accomplished his mission. Smith emerged and set about the attack at once. To Greaves he parked both pads in front of his stumps and dared the bowler to pitch straight. Greaves was bullied out of the attack with a flurry of boundaries. Green meanwhile had been watchful, yet he pounced on anything overpitched. The pair brought up their fifty partnership before Seales bowled Green (46 off 108) with a brutal off-cutter.

With the terrors of the twilight session approaching Head joined Smith. At the dinner break Australia was 3/138 with much to ponder. They have omitted Lyon for Scott Boland, yet the home side had brought in Warrican. On day one the ball is already turning appreciably for him, and for Chase. Thereafter, the Australian plan was made manifest. We picked five seamers because we intend to bowl tonight. In 18 overs they lost 7/87. Batting was far from easy. Smith was pouched at slip by King for an excellent 48. Head – the batsman of the series so far – struggled horribly, missing more often than he hit. Carey and Cummins made blitzkrieg twenties in T20 mode. Despite the absence of Alzarri through injury, Shamarr, Greaves and Seales shared all ten wickets between them, bowling with fire and menace. Was 225 all out a decent score under the circumstances? Who even knew?

West Indies’ baptism under lights was if anything an anticlimax. Only nine overs were possible, for the wicket of the misfortunate debutant Kevlon Anderson, bowled by Starc’s inswinger through the gate. If he needs any comfort, many others have fallen before him in like manner. And the guitar-wielding statue in the outer? We imagined him playing and singing One Love. After the distasteful scenes at Lords last night, it is a fine thing indeed to see cricket played in a proper spirit. Players and fans alike showing mutual respect and even affection. Yes, we play the game hard and ruthless. But there is no call for tantrums. None has been sighted today. And hurrah for that.

Back in the glory days of Caribbean cricket, their matchless pace attack used to opine that it did not matter how many runs their batsmen managed to get. Whatever the eventual tally, they backed themselves to dismiss the opposition for fewer and deliver victory. They were rarely mistaken. Talk to those with bad memories and they will speak of rearing bouncers, throat music, and Michael Holding’s memorable remark: ‘If you want to drive, then hire a car.’

Yet the secret to their years of unbroken victory was relentless line, length and the ability to extract seam movement and steepling bounce from the most somnolent of pitches. Australia’s veteran seamers were but a twinkle in their parents’ eyes back then, but they have absorbed the lessons of the Eighties and Nineties comprehensively. With one conspicuous exception, inasmuch as Lloyd, Richards and Richardson regarded spin bowling as a mere indulgence. Cummins knows better, having in his armoury one of the all-time greats in Nathan Lyon.

So it was that Australia triumphed today without fuss or trouble, despite losing their last three wickets cheaply to the combined fury of the Josephs. In the shortened pre-lunch session, Cummins’ men set to work on the home team’s top order. So well did they bowl that despite two uncharacteristic lapses in the slips from Webster and Green, they went to the break with the West Indies at 4/33. Hazlewood, Starc, Webster and Cummins each took a wicket, the lattermost of which sent off Brandon King wondering what on earth had just happened.

King had sent three half-volleys to the boundary and looked in sparkling touch, but Cummins’ unearthly genius undid him. It would have undone just about anyone. He must have noted that Cummins delivered from a little wider on the crease, and deduced that this will be the deadly off-cutter aimed at middle and leg. Very well: I shall cover it with bat, pads, and aquiline vigilance. The off-break shall not pass. Alas for King: it was the full-pitched leg-cutter which did just enough to take the off bail. One cannot prepare for deliveries like that.

There was an air of impermanence about the batting after lunch. Hope will not be proud of his rustic hoick at Hazlewood, resulting in yet another caught and bowled. Chase’s innings of 34 from 41 was meritorious, scoring at every safe opportunity; and he was misfortunate enough to succumb to a very marginal leg before from Starc. Greaves perished likewise. Umpire’s call has not been kind to the home side of late. Alzarri Joseph began his innings with two mighty sixes from Lyon. Undeterred, the off-spinner continued to give the ball air and drift, and Alzarri obligingly miscued to Green in the deep. Three more colossal sixes from Shamarr, and one from Seales, punctuated the regular backbeat of outfield catches. Lyon continued to tempt, and the tailenders obliged. His figures of 3/42 from five and a half overs will not have concerned him or his captain in the slightest. Do, please, go on swiping. You will not be here for long.

And they were not. Yes, Australia bowled magnificently on a helpful wicket. Yet to be bowled out in little more than thirty overs, yet again, does speak of a want of patience from the West Indies. It is too easy to blame white ball cricket. Part of the problem is that despite their own excellent seam attack, most of the first-class cricket hereabouts is played on spin-friendly wickets. Their batsmen need more practice against quick bowling. They could do worse, moreover, than to study Steve Smith. His ten thousand Test runs have not been the result of a bizarre and long-running accident. His 71 in the second innings was the chief difference between the sides. His ever-shifting batting technique is based on his matchless battle computers. How are these men trying to dismiss me? What small changes can I make to frustrate them?

And so, despite Australia’s horror run against the new ball in this series, their all-conquering bowlers saw them safely home. What Sabina Park will show on the weekend is anyone’s guess. But the prospect of a pink ball Test match, with two high-quality seam attacks, would seem to indicate that reserving seats for the fourth and fifth days would be an exercise in incurable optimism. A notable festive moment was observed in the outer this morning. A substantial banner was held aloft, proclaiming to an unguessable Kate that tonight is bin night. Really? We hope that Kate is tolerant and forgiving enough to smile, put out the bins, and hope that her beloved is enjoying his holiday.

Only 58 overs were able to be completed today. Partly because of intermittent rain, which visited the ground and hovered nearby like a dinner guest who cannot quite bring themself to leave the party once and for all. And there were rainbows. The West Indies over rate was diabolical, even so, and even by the lax standards of the present day. The five-man seam attack (with a bare five overs of spin from the captain) is partly to blame; but really: is it too much to ask that fielding sides get on with the game? If the plan was to bore Steve Smith out, it didn’t work. I don’t believe the man ever gets bored.

West Indies began untidily with the ball. There was far too little in Damien Fleming’s Avenue of Apprehension, and when the bowlers did pitch up and aim at the stumps, it was generally a half-volley. It took quite a time before Alzarri collected the nightwatchman. Smith seemed grateful for the extra sleep-in and came out utterly untroubled by his broken finger, or indeed anything else. And Cameron Green at last repaid the selectors’ faith in him as our number three with a most accomplished half-century. By the time he was out (played on off his diagonal bat, as usual, from Shamarr) the lead was 150 and Australia breathed easier.

Travis Head stroked his first delivery through mid-off for four. He reached thirty-odd at a run a ball, but after a brief flurry of wickets after tea (Smith for 71, and Webster straight after) he was more circumspect thereafter. Chase raised many eyebrows with his choice of Greaves’ mediums after the tea break. It turned out a stroke of inspiration. Greaves attacked the stumps and was the beneficiary of some sprightly seam movement. Head then lost his stumps to the indefatigable Shamarr, and bad light put an end to proceedings shortly after. Australia resumes tomorrow on 7/221. The lead is past 250, and the pitch is still playing a few tricks. Carey already has a run-a-ball 26. And Cummins looked his usual defiant self. The home side will want early wickets tomorrow.

The West Indies openers began in brilliant sunshine. Brathwaite’s 100^th Test match has not thus far been a happy one, since he spooned a meek return catch to Hazlewood. Carty fell to Cummins in a like manner, although Cummins’ twenty-yard sprint to receive delivery at forward short leg was an athletic highlight from the Australian skipper. John Campbell however batted brightly, unperturbed by the occasion. When Hazlewood pitched fractionally short the phlegmatic opener lifted him over the square boundary. On 40 he essayed an awful swipe from Webster and departed in a medium-rare dudgeon. It had been an unworthy end to an innings of bright promise.

Brandon King had experienced all the terrors of multiple stage fright in Barbados. It was all the more commendable to see him dig in here, and with his captain he steered the home side to lunch at a comparatively comfortable 3/110. With the pitch thus far displaying few terrors, Australia needed a lift. Hazelwood supplied it directly after lunch, trapping Chase in front for 16. It was a narrow squeak on review. Another bail width higher and the result would have been Umpire’s Call. On seeing humans playing with a ball, an optimistic black dog attempted to join in the festivities. Finding no encouragement, however, it removed itself beyond the long-off boundary and spectated instead.

King brought up his 50 with a wild slash over gully from Starc. A man who had so thoroughly embarrassed himself on debut could feel considerable pride at his resilience. Twice he lofted Lyon over the ropes, and alarm bells begin to toll in the middle distance for the visitors. Inevitably it was the captain who broke through Hope’s resistance. It was Cummins’ specialty: an off-cutter delivered from wide on the return crease. Worse was to follow as Lyon induced a faint glove from King, who was dismissed on review for an excellent 75. Praise is also due to Cummins for not removing his spinner after his first six overs went for 30. Many a captain would have; but Cummins knows the value of buying wickets with spin.

When Greaves departed, having edged Lyon’s away-drifter to Carey, the end seemed nigh at 7/175. Yet the Josephs had other ideas. They defended stoutly. They lofted the ball just out of reach of scurrying outfielders. And they clubbed four sixes in their stand of 51 until Lyon’s subtle change of length induced a drive to long-on from Alzarri. Starc then skittled Shamarr with his away-cutter via the batsman’s pads. Even then West Indies were not done. After Seales’ meek dismissals in Barbados he defended his wicket mightily. The last pair lasted another eleven overs until Head concluded the innings with his notorious golden arm, when Phillip offered him the innings’ third return catch. The visitors’ lead had dwindled away to a mere 33. Australia had bowled well on a helpful wicket. All six bowlers shared the spoils. Yet West Indies had fought well: notably Brandon King, whose 75 has been the game’s high-water mark thus far.

With the match poised on a knife-edge it remained to be seen if Australia’s drastically underperforming batsmen could gain the ascendancy. Alas, they could not. In a fiery three-over burst Seales blasted away both openers. The man it seems cannot help taking wickets. Partly because he bowls an attacking length and swings the ball around, but also because of errors in batsmanship. Konstas’ waft outside off with a diagonal bat was dreadful to behold. Green’s first ball roared up at him like a venomous reptile, and the giant no.3 was fortunate indeed that his edge fell just short of slip. Then Khawaja fell leg before in an action replay of his first innings disaster. Green and Lyon hung on until stumps. But at 2/12 Australia is markedly behind the match. As in Barbados, it is now incumbent upon the middle order to dig them out of a substantial crater.

Grenada is an island of all but impossible beauty. Its cricket is itself anomalous. They still field a national side as part of the Windward Islands group, and their teams are led by Devon Smith and Andre Fletcher: both cricketers of renown. Once upon a time they contested a cricket World Cup in their own right. And while the grandstands were sparsely tenanted, it was good to see Messrs Hughes and Gillespie doing Laurel and Hardy impressions therein. Captain Pat won the toss, and decided to bat, opining that he had no idea what the pitch was likely to do. He might well have added that whatever was going to transpire out there, it was unlikely to improve for the batting side.

That Australia was bowled out in 67 overs does not, at first glance, sound like a glowing endorsement of Cummins’ decision. The pitch did play better than in Barbados, but not by a great distance. There was swing, seam, and uneven bounce enough to discombobulate most of the batsmen. Yet the visitors did not bat too badly. Against a five-man seam attack they looked for runs on every occasion. They were wise to do so. Khawaja perished to a booming inswinger from Alzarri Joseph, who took the honours with 4/61. Travis Head was caught low down by Hope from a ball which exploded off a length from Shamarr. And the captain himself, after a brusque and incisive 17, was skittled by a ball which crept along the carpet.

Uneven bounce does not generally evaporate. The history of cricket suggests that a pitch which is up and down on the first day tends to get worse. If it does, the home side are in for a testing time. Yet survival is possible. With half the side out for 110, once more it was left to Carey and Webster to relaunch the ship and get the innings back on track. Carey rode his luck, as ever; but his 63 (from 81 balls) was exactly the rescue mission required. And Webster’s common-sense application was an implied remonstrance to his predecessors. He was only dismissed trying to pinch the strike with Lyon at the other end. His 60 was an innings of the highest class.

How will the West Indies respond? Only tomorrow will tell. Meanwhile at Edgbaston, India amassed almost 600, with the new captain Shubman Gill making 269. In response, Akash and Siraj reduced England to 5/84. Since then, at the time of writing, Jamie Smith and Harry Brook have put on an unbeaten 6th wicket stand of 165 in a mere 25 overs. Food for thought, perhaps?